Kiss and Make Up Day.
According to the official National Kiss and Make Up Day website, this day was
So take heart, all of you couples who have grown to loathe your significant others due to a mounting heap of real or perceived grievances. Dirty underwear on the floor, not putting the toilet seat down, atrocious table manners, farting in public, bad hygiene ... and a host of other atrocities.
Instead of burying the hatchet literally in your mate's skull, you can bury it figuratively tomorrow by giving your soul mate a lovely gift or card. Why bother sitting down and hashing out your differences, making amends and planning for a better life together when you can just "Kiss it off".
Who knew that almost all of life's problems can be solved by just creating a "special" day for each of them.
So, I don't know if I've been more or less of an insufferable prick than usual this past year, but just in case, thank God that the people at Signals catalog (purveyors of fine internet trash merchandise) gave me an idea for the perfect gift to make up for all of my shortcomings.
Jan will immediately forgive me for every rotten, shitty thing I've done in my life when she sees this:
A Battery Operated Plush Beating Heart
Yeah, that'll work.