I read several news/popular culture on-line magazines almost every day. Lately, one of them seems to be getting away from news and opinion pieces, and more into running blog posts that they normally feature in their "open" opinion section.
Granted, all of the blog posts that they feature are very well written. I envy the authors for their creativity and command of the language. But it seems that they all are inclined to be more aimed at inciting the ire of their readers and less about discussions of relevant subjects.
Recent features have included such themes as "I Tried To Have Two Families At Once And They Both Dumped My Ass ... Feel Sorry For Me"; "My Dad Was Married And Divorced Three Times ... Ha, Ha ... What An Asshole"; and "My Younger Brother Raped Me When I Was Seventeen ... And I Liked It".
Today, I was sucked in once more by a guest post titled "When Nature Calls -- In The Worst Way". I was eating my lunch at my desk when I read the first line "You never quite forget the first time you crap yourself."
Okay, this poor woman went on for almost three pages about how, at 26 years old, she found herself dumping in her pants in the most inopportune places. At the movies, in restaurants, at work, in church ...
She chose not to see the doctor, because she didn't have insurance, for TWO YEARS. Finally, her boyfriend (she must have been a real fox to wrangle one of those while having her problem) made her see a doctor after she shat her pants in the passenger seat of his new car.
Turns out that she had a pretty serious problem. Something named Ulcerative Colitis. Basically, her whole colon was covered with constantly exploding ulcers.
I was looking for a happy ending to her story, but unfortunately for me ... and especially her, there isn't one. The only way she can solve her problem permanently is to have her entire colon removed, which she chose not to do. Wisely, I think. So, she tries various medications and diets to reduce the severity of her problems. She relates that some days it works, and some days it doesn't.
The bio at the end of the article reveals that the author lives in the Northwest, where she has a blog exclusively dedicated to Ulcerative Colitis.
I'm sure this woman probably can come up with new and fresh ways to explore this very specialized subject, but I was just thinking that I couldn't do it. Seriously, maybe I could come up with three ... maybe four good posts ... things that would be interesting and could help people. But after that ... I can just see me trying to pull this off.
Monday: Crapped my pants.
Tuesday: Crapped my pants at the grocery store.
Wednesday: Crapped my pants at the store again. They barred me for life.
Thursday: Didn't crap my pants! Yay!??
Friday: Crapped my pants again. Shit.
Really, I'd just give up blogging at that point.
Good thing I'm just sticking with the piece of shit I have now.