May 21, 2012

Stupid Town Statues

I was going to write about us trying to find another car, but I changed my mind after I watched a tourist commercial for Milwaukee.  Milwaukee is okay.  I've even been there once or twice, and one time, I even stayed overnight there.  You can even walk most places except west of Marquette, in which case you'd better be packing a flame thrower and a Phalanx anti-aircraft gun.

Anyway, the Milwaukee tourist commercial was about 30 seconds long and basically sent the message that you should come to see the life size bronze statue of ...

The Fonz.

Some of you may not remember "The Fonz", but he was a staple of those hit ABC comedies "Happy Days", "Laverne and Shirley" and of course, "The Flintstones".  Now, I'm all for cities putting up statues, especially if they have home town boys that they're proud of .  Even Kingman, Arizona has a small statue (or is is a picture) of Andy Devine (look him up).  But statues of fictional characters is a bit much.  Henry Winkler isn't any more from Milwaukee than Sylvester Stallone is from Philadelphia.

But the thing about "The Fonz" statue is its absolute hideousness.  Behold ...


Who did they commission to make this?  The special effects guy from Night of the Living Dead?  Here's another angle ...

Now He Only Looks Like He Has A Bad Case Of Jaundice

At least they got the height correct, as Henry Winkler is just four feet tall.  And speaking of really bad town statues, who can forget Chicago's own ...


This was a fairly typical picture.  One or two guys standing between her legs looking up her skirt. Classy.  Fortunately, Marilyn left town for Palm Springs, California a couple of weeks ago.  They came in the middle of the night and disassembled her in three pieces and drove her away, kind of like the Irsay's did to the Baltimore Colts.

Here's another dumbass statue, this time in Winslow, Arizona named ... wait for it ...

Standing On The Corner
(In Winslow, Arizona)

I suppose you have to be an Eagle's fan.  Maybe someone will build a Hotel California next.

There is one hometown statue that I've seen in my travels that some would think hokey, but I think it's just damned impressive.  Next time you're in Key West (Florida, not West Virginia) look up this statue.  It's impressive because it's not made out of bronze, or tin, or stainless steel; but engineered wax.  And at just the right time of day, the tide comes in, making it look completely realistic.  It's my favorite ...


Next Post:  I get off track again.

1 comment:

  1. Where was the girl in a flat bed ford? And why does Fonzie look African American?