November 01, 2009


Life is full of mysteries. Does the Bermuda Triangle possess supernatural forces? Is Sasquatch real? How were the Great Pyramids of Egypt built?

Sometimes mysteries are smaller in scale, and maybe the reason for the mystery is because the person who set it in motion was too dumb to figure it out. That may be the case here, but I'll be damned if I can explain it.

You may recall a post that I wrote several weeks ago, eulogizing Sucky, my plucky 22 year old canister vacuum cleaner, who died of old age. At the time, I was going to give Sucky a proper burial, but something kept me from discarding him.

Today, I was cleaning out some items from the basement. Sucky was in the way, and I figured that my mourning period had went on long enough, and it was time to commit it to the county dump.

But before I took it upstairs, I thought "What if?" So I plugged it in and turned it on. And Sucky came to life ...

"It's alive I tell you ... ALIVE!!"

I turned it off and on about 20 times, and it started every time. No sparks, no flashes, no whines. Nothing but engine.

It was a goddamned miracle. But probably not. If I were an electrical engineer, I'm sure I would think of a rational explanation, like resets, or gremlins, or other such shit. But I'm not, so I'll just go with miracle.

I'm used to my new canister now, so I'm not going to put Sucky back into regular service. Like a racehorse, I'll put him out to stud and use him to pick up fireplace ashes or something. However "stud" is probably not the right word. I don't think picking up fireplace ashes equals sex, but then it's a machine, so who knows?

In any event, welcome back from the dead old friend.

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