Crab Salad Days

Last week was lousy.  About midway into the week, one of my "helpful" co-workers let it slip on purpose that the boss had been spreading rumors about me, and since my contract was up at the end of the month, I thought I was a goner.  This did nothing for my good humor and self esteem, so I spent the weekend alternately pondering another stretch of unemployment and generally grousing about.

Even web surfing couldn't lift the gloom that hung about me.  One of my "friends" on facebook had written a particularly smarmy, self-absorbed post that went something like this:  "I'm sitting here with my good friend (name).  What do you do on a rainy day on (place) to have some fun!".  Now, if you're like me, you just look at that post and think "WTF"?  Some other bright eyed friends had made helpful suggestions like playing Yahtzee, or doing a 1,000 piece puzzle, or watching "Wuthering Heights".  Again, "WTF"?  My fingers hovered above the keyboard, and I came that close to quickly typing "Why don't you go fuck yourselves." Thankfully, two centuries of ingrained civilization kicked in, and I refrained. But it would have felt soooooo good.

Instead, I shut down the computer, locked up the house and turned in for the night.

And then, on a gloomy Monday morning, I walked into my office, turned on my computer, dialed up my email, and found ...

That my contract had been extended to end of this year. Six months.  Three months longer than this place ever extends a single contract.  So, a show of confidence in my work.  I should have felt flattered, but instead, I felt a little let down.  All of that time wasted over the weekend getting into the groove of having my days free again.

I should feel ashamed of myself.  But tonight, I'm starting to recover and remember that work is good for the soul, and that the by-product, money, is good for a hell of a lot of other things.  So to bring me back, I looked at my secret file of inane things that I had collected from the internet that always seem to make me laugh.  And I'm going to share ... because that's what I do.  Here are three of my favorites.

Totally off-the-wall.

I wish I'd thought of it.

My favorite secret thing to say out loud.

No one ever knows what I'm talking about.

How do they choose?

Anyway, I'm feeling better already.  I should go iron a shirt and make my lunch for tomorrow.  After all, I do have to go to work.