June 03, 2010

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

After a particularly ugly day at work yesterday, I trudged home with a sinking feeling that lasted throughout the evening, and was only interrupted when I mercifully fell asleep.  When the alarm went off at 5 a.m. this morning, I glumly went through the motions of getting ready for the day and more bad news.

But, as sometimes happens to even the most downtrodden of sinners, providence intervened.

Providence came in the form of Jan coming down with a horrific case of poopy pants.  So horrific, that she asked me if I would take her to the doctor because she was cramping so badly.

And for me, the world took on a shine.  We gathered ourselves and headed first to school to drop off lesson plans, and then to the doctor for 7:15 sick call, where she found out it was just a normal case of diarrhea.  After we returned home, I went to Walmart for all the diarrhea necessities.  Jello, Activia and Gatorade.  Walmart at 8 a.m. on a weekday morning is a magical place, because there are so few people there at that time.  And even though I got stuck behind some 120 year old fossil at the checkout lane who couldn't figure out how to pay the cashier, I didn't care.

From there I went to the bank, because we had been caught off guard in the cash department and had barely been able to scratch together the co-pay at the doctors office.  Inside, the walleyed teller confused me because I couldn't tell who she was looking at when she spoke, and asked me for 50 forms of ID to cash a 26 dollar check from Jan's mother.  But I didn't care.

It was a beautiful morning, and I decided to mow the lawn.  Later, I took a walk and stopped for a friendly chat with a group of unemployed dads who had sent their wives off to work that morning.  When I returned, I laid on the floor to watch "Vice Squad" with the unlikely duo of Edward G. Robinson and Lee Van Cleef. And then I took a nap.

Ferris never had such a fine day.  And even though I can feel my stomach tightening up a bit this evening in anticipation of returning to work tomorrow and facing the same dilemma I left last night.

Well ...

Fuck it.  It's Friday.

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