June 15, 2010

Neighborly Chat

Over the weekend, I was out puttering in the yard, laying down some weed killer to stem the hoard of unfriendlies creeping in from my neighbor's yard.  In the past, I haven't paid much attention to my yard, but this year, thanks to the abundant rain, it looks better than any of the previous 23 years we have lived here.  I'd love to show before and after pictures, but the daguerreotypes I have from the 1980's don't scan well onto the computer.

Anyway, while I was spraying, my favorite neighbor, Hillbilly Ron (HR), came out to take a look at what I was doing.

HR: Whatcha' doing?

Me:  Spraying the weeds coming in from your yard.  You know, remember a couple of years ago when you got irritated at me when I didn't use the TruGreen people to spray my yard like you did and all of my weeds were growing into your yard?  Well, looks like I'm getting my payback.  Ha, ha!

HR:  Uh, yeah ... they were kinda expensive so I stopped using them.  I see you cut your lawn this morning.

Me:  Sure did.

HR:  Kinda mowin' over on my side a little, aren't you?

Me:  Noooo ... I don't think so.  I'm coming down the line from your fence.

HR:  Yeah, well see, my property kind of angles back out from the fence, so you're mowing on my side.

Me:  Nah, your line goes straight with that fence. Actually, you don't have a hell of a lot of side yard.  You know, I just happen to have a Plat sitting in my truck that I had to dig up for some work we're having done.  I'll show you.

(I pull the Plat out and show HR)

Me:  See.  In fact, if you look straight down that line, you'll see that your mailbox is in my yard, actually.

HR:  Huh?

Me:  Yeah!  I'll bet if we go down there, we'll find the marker.

(We amble down to the mailbox and sure enough, the marker is on the wrong side of the mailbox)

HR:  Shit ...

Me:  Yeah, maybe it would look nicer on the other side of your driveway.

HR:  Uh, well ... I think I hear the wife calling.  Say, your yard sure does look nice!

Me:  Thanks!

Never pull territorial shit on a guy with a Survey Plat.

1 comment:

  1. We had neighbors back in Va that basically had weeds for a lawn. It was a pain in the ass to keep them out of our yard even with the monthly treatments from the local "Kill em dead" company. I totally feel your pain.