Tonight, on the way home from work, I stopped at Walgreens for cough syrup and Christmas cards (don't ask). As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Jan walking towards the store. She saw me and kind of half-waved and then picked up her pace and walked into the store.
It was cold and spitting snow, so I didn't blame her for not stopping and waiting for me to park. I thought she'd just wait inside the entrance for me. But when I walked in, she was no where to be seen. I went up and down a few aisles, but no Jan. So, I went ahead and hunted down the cough syrup and cards and headed for the front to check out, thinking I would see her there.
When I got to the front, I caught a glimpse of her carrying her purchase and skittering out the door into the parking lot. When I had paid for my stuff, I went outside, but she had vanished. As I arrived home, she was taking her school stuff out of the car, so I parked the truck ... and ...
Me: What the fuck was that?!
Me: Why didn't you wait for me at Walgreens?
Jan: Oh, were you at Walgreens?
Me: Well, you waved at me in the parking lot, what the fuck do you mean "Was I at Walgreens?"
Jan: Oh, yeah. I was in a hurry.
Me: What were you doing? Hooking up with your boyfriend or something?
Jan: Oh ... yeah! That's it! He and I always have our secret trysts in the middle of Walgreens! Idiot!
Me: Okay, then what were you there for?
Jan: To get ... stuff.
Me: What stuff?
Jan: You know ... stuff. You got stuff ... I was getting stuff.
Me: I got cough syrup and Christmas cards. What did you get?
Jan: Ohhhh ... okay! I bought a bag of candy bars for my secret stash!
Me: Secret stash?
Jan: Yes asshole ... my secret stash! Don't you have one of those?
Me: No. Pause ... but that's not a bad idea ...
Me: Where is it?
Jan: It's secret. That's why I call it a secret stash, jerk!
Me: Oh. What kind of candy bars?
Jan: Kit Kat.
Me: Pause ... Gimme one ...