Secret Lives

Tonight, on the way home from work, I stopped at Walgreens for cough syrup and Christmas cards (don't ask).  As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Jan walking towards the store.  She saw me and kind of half-waved and then picked up her pace and walked into the store.

It was cold and spitting snow, so I didn't blame her for not stopping and waiting for me to park.  I thought she'd just wait inside the entrance for me.  But when I walked in, she was no where to be seen.  I went up and down a few aisles, but no Jan.  So, I went ahead and hunted down the cough syrup and cards and headed for the front to check out, thinking I would see her there.

When I got to the front, I  caught a glimpse of her carrying her purchase and skittering out the door into the parking lot.  When I had paid for my stuff, I went outside, but she had vanished.  As I arrived home, she was taking her school stuff out of the car, so I parked the truck ... and ...

Me:  What the fuck was that?!

Jan:  What?

Me:  Why didn't you wait for me at Walgreens?

Jan:  Oh, were you at Walgreens?

Me:  Well, you waved at me in the parking lot, what the fuck do you mean "Was I at Walgreens?"

Jan:  Oh, yeah.  I was in a hurry.

Me:  What were you doing?  Hooking up with your boyfriend or something?

Jan:  Oh ... yeah!  That's it!  He and I always have our secret trysts in the middle of Walgreens!  Idiot!

Me:  Okay, then what were you there for?

Jan:  To get ... stuff.

Me:  What stuff?

Jan:  You know ... stuff.  You got stuff ... I was getting stuff.

Me:  I got cough syrup and Christmas cards.  What did you get?

Me:  Glare

Jan:  Ohhhh ... okay!  I bought a bag of candy bars for my secret stash!

Me:  Secret stash?

Jan:  Yes asshole ... my secret stash!  Don't you have one of those?

Me:  No.  Pause ... but that's not a bad idea ...

Me:  Where is it?

Jan:  It's secret.  That's why I call it a secret stash, jerk!

Me:  Oh.  What kind of candy bars?

Jan:  Kit Kat.

Me:  Pause ...  Gimme one ...