June 08, 2011

Empty Threats

Since I’ve been old enough to understand words and how they are put together into sentences, I’ve been fascinated by catch phrases.  These are'nt meant to be confused with quotes, famous or otherwise, but just random things that people put together and have spread through society over the years.

They include among many other things, descriptions of one’s activities, how one feels at a certain time or one person’s opinion of another.  The really good catch phrases cause me to conjure up an image that makes me laugh.

Some of my favorites are:

“I’m so happy, I could just shit.”

“Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.”

And the wordy, but very descriptive … “He’s so cheap that he walks around trailing a rock on a string so he can catch the grease off his own farts.”

But I save my catch phrase devotion for … Threats

One of the first great threats that I recall was “I’ll kick your ass up between your shoulder blades.”

So, it’s only fitting (especially after that terrible post yesterday) that I offer you, what I consider to be, a delightful collection of threat catch phrases.  If you’re at work, don’t even bother.  But if you’re someplace all by yourself, then enjoy …


  1. Hey! I enjoyed your post from yesterday!

    I once took care of a patient with breath so bad it could've easily knocked a buzzard off of a shit wagon.

    Feel free to use that one at your leisure.