Abandoning My Posts

Like all serious writers, I keep a notebook to store my ideas for novels, short stories, essays and screenplays. Well, actually, I never get any ideas for the above, so I just make notes for posts that I may want to write for my blog.  Using this method, I can open my file and pull out a gem of a topic for days that I may feel particularly un-idea-y, like today.  And the rest of this week probably.

So, when I got home from work this afternoon, I went to my file and sifted through it's contents.  After several minutes of scanning the pages, I realized that all I had was a pile of shit, consisting of bits of shit that I either couldn't decipher or sounded really stupid.  Rather than delete the contents and start fresh, I thought I would just throw the the garbage out here for all of you lucky people to enjoy, or not.  Here we go ...

Neighbor Ron is usually good for a post or two during the year.  His backwoods, hillbilly trailer trash style never ceases to amaze me.  One day last summer, I was sitting here in control central when I noticed him pulling his power washer out into the backyard.  He fired the machine up and began washing ... his  trees.  I kept hoping that the family would come out, strip to their undies and he would power wash them too.  But he never did and I couldn't think of any way to build anything out of a guy blowing the leaves off of his trees with a 5 zillion psi burst of water.  So that story died on the vine, so to speak.

A while back, I wrote a post on letters I had sent to the Readers Digest.  I liked doing that one and thought I would follow up with another one, but I could only think of one idea, and then I ran out of gas.  This is the only entry I could come up with for my second installment of "Life In These United States".

After spending a few weeks chatting with a nice girl I met online, she invited me over so we could finally meet in person.  You can imagine my embarrassment, when, after showing up at her house  and making myself comfortable while she went to change, I was suddenly confronted by a camera crew and Chris Hansen, the host of "Dateline NBC".

And then there are the pictures.  One of the things I love about my iMac is it's ability to transfer almost any image I find on the interwebs to my photo gallery, almost instantly.  Unfortunately, I usually end up with a shit load of pictures that I have no idea what to do with. Observe ...

(Click to enlarge)

Okay, now that I've cleaned out my files, I can flush the remains into the universe, where their electrons will play joyfully with others of their kind, and I can start anew with ideas guaranteed to bring in readers from all over the planet.

Shit ... Who am I kidding?