September 14, 2010

Nothing To Say On Facebook

I have an account on facebook.  I don't know exactly when I started it but I do remember my best friend writing me with an invitation, and rather than be rude to her, I signed up, and for the longest time only had her as a "friend".  Then somehow, I made three other "friends", but that's been about it.

For a while, I was posting stuff every day, but after a time, I realized that three of the four friends knew what I was doing all the time anyway from e-mails and phone calls; and the fourth one didn't give a flying fuck what I did.  Then I started looking back at my posts and realized how pathetic and stupid I appeared, so I erased everything.  So, after two years, I have a total of one page.  This page is mostly my friends wishing me a happy birthday over two months ago.

I suppose I should make new friends, but when I sit down to think of who to invite, I remember that I'm basically anti-social and don't have any friends.  Facebook reminds me from time to time that my "friends" have lots more friends than I do and suggests friends that I can invite. These are in three categories:  the first are people that my "friends" are "friends" with, but I don't know them and am sure they would think I was some slimy creep if I contacted them.  The second group are people I went to high school with and this is out of the question because I still have horrible memories of high school and don't want to be reminded of them by contacting people who probably remember me as "that strange guy".  The third group are people I went to college with, but when I look at their names, I'm reminded that even though I did like college a lot, I don't know any of the people who facebook suggests, and again, I would look like "that strange guy".

So, fuck you facebook for taunting me about the fact that I don't have any friends and then suggesting people who are just going to turn down my invitations.

However, the other night I was staring at my facebook page and thinking that I ought to write something down, so I set my brain to whirring, but could only come up with "had a hamburger and potato chips for dinner ... yum!"  This was immediately removed.  Then I saw the "like" button, and thought there must be something I like, shouldn't there?

So I thought and thought.  And then I thought some more.  And from the deep regions of my brain, I remembered that I had kind of liked the Palms Hotel when when were in Las Vegas for one night last summer. We actually stayed at some dive down the street, but we did spend part of the evening there.  And for those of you who don't believe me, I have a picture ...

The Palms Is Out Of The Picture On The Right

Wait a minute, I must have a better picture than that. Here's one of Jan in front of the Palms billboard.  At least I think it's Jan, I had my glasses off ...



Is That You Dear?

Anyway, I hit the "like" button for the Palms on my facebook page, and now I have something besides my birthday greetings.  And besides it looks kind of cool and maybe people will think it's cool too because the Palms has a Playboy Club and Paris Hilton hangs out there snorting coke when she's not getting thrown out of the Wynn Hotel for snorting coke there.

But ... hold on.  Isn't the Playboy Club kind of lame now? And isn't Paris Hilton kind of "Paris Who?" anymore? Maybe my "like" button will make me look lame too. Oh shit, now I've done it.  I just tried erasing my "like" button and it won't erase.

Crap!  Now my facebook page makes me look like a loser!  I'll never get anymore "friends"...

Fuck you facebook.

13 comments:

  1. Don't feel bad. I never had any friends before facebook. I didn't even have parents. Or a sister. Or a husband. Or a dog. Facebook has changed everything for me.

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