September 07, 2010

Maybe It Wasn't Such A Good Idea

Once in a while, I like to go back over some of my posts, ostensibly to see if my writing has improved any (it hasn't), but mostly to look up some people I have written about and to Google them to see if anything new has happened in their lives.

One of those people stood out, for obvious reasons.  At the time I first wrote about her, Sheyla Hershey had achieved the distinction of holding the record for the world's largest breasts.  Through a series of cosmetic procedures, doctors in South America (no one in the US would touch her) had managed to cram a full one gallon of silicone into each or her hooters.

Looking at her pictures, I wondered how the surgeon had managed to close her up, and imagined a scene much like in the movies where a person hurriedly tries to cram a full closet of clothes into a suitcase, invariably resorting to sitting on it while another person frantically tries to drive the latches home.  And maybe this was how it was done in the operating room.

Being me, my first thought on looking at her was "where the hell does she buy clothes to contain those things? Target?  The Gap?"  Also, they looked they would be very uncomfortable to lug around.

Maybe Lane Bryant?

But Ms Hershey seemed to enjoy her notoriety, and indeed, there are many places on the web that one can go to ogle her or find out about her latest activities.  She even has a page or two on facebook, along with a couple of imposters.

However, through reading updates, I learned that things hadn't been going so well for her recently.  It seems that this past July, she developed a very serious case of staph infection in each of her ta-ta's. Following her last surgery, where she achieved the world record breaking size of 38 KK, the incisions holding her together didn't hold, creating a condition called dehiscence, allowing the silicone bags to peek through and allowing infection to set in.

Doctors feared they would have to perform a mastectomy on Ms Hershey to save her, but through the wonders of medical science, they managed to get the gallon bags out of her and stem her infection. Interviewed by the local Fox News (fair and balanced) station, Sheyla expressed regrets at having been so vain as to endanger her health just to have the world's biggest boobs.  She said that even her son had pleaded with her to go back to a normal size.

This got me thinking ... According to her website, she's about 30 years old, which would put her son at 10 ... tops. Can you imagine the grief this poor kid got at school? Man, believe it or not, I used to be that age, and 9 and 10 year olds can be brutal when it comes to things of this nature.

Anyway, after almost dying from her boob size, you would think that Ms Hershey would have retired her crown and gone on with her smaller boobed life.

But as I think they say, champions are made and not born.  After her full recovery, Ms Hershey has decided to renew her assault on the world record by attempting to surpass her own record in the near future.  I, for one wish her luck in her effort.  Having checked out the competition, mainly by Googling "ENORMOUS BOOBS" with the child protection filter turned off, I'd say she has her work cut out for her.

1 comment:

  1. What does she do for a living? Wait, don't tell me - let me guess.

    And yeah, if she had a gigantic nose or something, her son would be getting his butt kicked, but with things the way they are, I'm thinking he's the most popular kid in class. With the boys, anyway.