January 05, 2011

2011 - The Year In Review

Whether you're a true news junkie, or even a news first-time-user, most people love the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, simply for the fact that everyone and their mother puts together the most momentous news events of the year that is just about to end.

But I say, why wait until the end of the year, when you can save yourself hours or days of tedious research and recap "2011 - The Year That Was" in only 5 minutes of slovenly web browsing.  See if you can remember where you were and what you were doing when these historic news events of 2011 went down.

Jan. 1 - The World Almanac announced that there were only 364 days remaining in 2011.  Thousands of federal inmates marked the occasion by scratching a hash mark into their cell walls.

Jan. 2 - John P. Wheeler, advisor to 3 presidents, Vietnam veteran and recent depositee in a Jersey landfill is seen on video tape from a Wilmington, Delaware convenience store hours before his body is found.  He is reported looking confused as he makes his purchase, presumably because the price of a pack of Kools went up 2 percent on New Year's Day.

Jan. 3 - "Noted" researchers report an alarming decline in the bumble bee population.  In related news, the Suter Corporation, makers of Bumble Bee Tuna, announce an across-the board price increase.  In related, related news, I find that Bumble Bee Tuna actually has a facebook page.

Jan. 4 - Representative John Boehner (Rep-OH) is locked in as the incoming Speaker of the House of Representatives.  Predictably, he cries ... but only after outgoing Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Dem-CA) tells him he has an "itty-bitty weenie".

Jan. 5 - Two individuals from Washington State and Idaho are announced as co-winners of the 380 million dollar Mega-Millions prize.  Mega-millions of Americans eat from a cold plate of envy and despair along with their morning coffee.

Be sure to mark your calendars for January 5, 2012 when I'll return (God willing) with ...

2012 - "The Stupendous Year That Was"

2 comments:

  1. You'd better remind me ... I'll probably forget.

    ReplyDelete