I really like Mark Walhberg. I probably like him a lot more than I would have if I knew he used to be that hard core white rapper "Marky Mark". But I wasn't aware of who he was then, so I'm free to like him as much as I want to. I like him in the "talkies", I like him on the TeeVee and I like him when he shows up on "Live Funny Or Die" on the internets.
As some of you may know, Mark recently found himself in a bit of hot water when he made the statement that if he had been on one of the jets that crashed into the World Trade Center way back in the day, that IT WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. He said that instead of crashing, the first class cabin would be full of blood and he would have found a way to land the jet safely.
Well, you know what? I believe him. To me, there's not a tougher, meaner, more intimidating badass on the face of the earth than Mark Walhberg. And that includes Chuck fucking Norris.
The other night, I was sitting around, thinking about how fucking awesome Mark Walhberg really is, and I wondered what history would have been like if only Mark Walhberg had possessed a time machine. Just think ... a lot of things would have been different if Mark Wahlberg had been there to ladle out his righteous brand of justice. These are just a few of the images that came to mind ...
EAT HOT LEAD TOJO!
PREPARE TO BE "BOOTH"ERIZED!
OUT OF THE FUCKIN' WAY JESSE - I'M ON A MISSION!
NOT ON MY WATCH CHAPMAN!
(but I'll give you a free shot at Yoko)
Yes ... God Bless ... MARK WALHBERG!