September 16, 2009

Everyday Annoyances

After looking at two different kinds of baseboard in our front room for several weeks, Jan decided it was time for me to go out and buy the rest of the lumber we needed to finish the job we started in the entry way.

I didn't feel real home-improvy this morning, but thought I'd better run over to the place we bought the entry way baseboard and get what we needed before they ran out of it.  We bought this particular baseboard at Home Depot, which is usually my second pick when I go to get home improvement stuff.  I generally go to Menard's for everything, and will only go to Lowe's when I'm desperate, because they never have jack shit.

Luckily, Home Depot still had what I needed.  Since it only came in 16 foot lengths, I needed to cut it in half so that it would fit in the back of the truck without scattering all over the highway on the way home.

First, I went looking for a lumber cart, but it appeared that the employees had thought that these made good temporary storage stations and display cases.  So I settled for a regular cart, which was awkward.  Then I went looking for someone to cut the wood for me.  After 5 minutes, I managed to corner an employee and asked him if he could help me.  Sorry, the power saw was for plywood only, but I could go saw it myself on some table they had set up in the trim aisle.  Gee thanks asshole.

When I got back to the trim aisle, it seemed like everyone in the store had the same need that I did, so we all jockeyed around each other with our GIANT pieces of wood and stared down each other for the privilege of using the hand saw.  After a half hour of this (which would have taken the asshole thirty seconds to do on the power saw), I was finished and headed to the one register that was open up front.

In front of me was a woman with two carts crammed with at least one of everything that was available in the store. She turned to me and we had this exchange ...

Woman:  This is going to take me a while.  (Insert attitude) You might want to go to another register.

Me:  Do you see another register open?

Woman:  (Looks around) No.

Me:  Well, then thanks for the heads up Captain Obvious. I'll wait.

She glowered at me.  I glowered back, but she broke off eye contact first.

Whoo-Hoo!  I win!

Jesus, sometimes I just hate people.


  1. You have got to be the most wonderful person I know, I love the attitude!!! You rock man!!

  2. Did you really say 'Captain Obvious'? that's hilarious.

  3. It's scary sometimes, and I wonder if we aren't cast of the same mold. I got into it with some bitch at Macy's today who wanted to tell me to go to another register when, clearly, the only register open on this floor was the one she was making do a really stupid return. Some people need to learn to buy the fat pants and get over it or put the twinkies down. Christ.