August 27, 2009

They Roam The Streets

The other morning, I pulled into my driveway after going out for junk I thought I needed.  As I was unloading the truck, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see a young guy, about 22,  bounding up the drive wearing a t-shirt, shorts and tennis shoes. I'll call him Alvin, because I never did get his name.

Alvin:  Don't beam me up Scotty! (I guess I looked startled)

Me:  What do you want?

Alvin:  Good morning sir!

Me:  What do you want?

Alvin:  Has there been a girl come up to your door this morning?

Me:  No.  What do you want?

Alvin:  Well, I'm a college student, and I'm playing in sort of a scavenger contest with a bunch of other young people, and the winner gets a 2,000 dollar scholarship to college.  So I need your help.

Me:  What do you want?

Alvin:  Well, to get in the spirit of the contest, I need you to inspire me.  So, what do you do for a living?

Me:  Nothing.  I haven't worked for two years.  Go away son.

At that, I turned around and walked into the house.  I heard him chirp "Thank you!" as I went in the door, and expected that to be followed with "asshole", but it wasn't.

Several hours later, I went out again and saw Alvin standing on a street corner near the house.  He must have recognized the truck, because he stared at me kind of sullenly.  After I passed him, I looked in the rear view mirror just in time to see him finger me.

He must have been having a bad day trying to be "inspired" by ill-tempered old men.


  1. You are not old! Ill-tempered? well, maybe but I don't see it at all.

    You had me going there for a minute. I thought you were going to say he mugged you or something worse.

  2. I deal with worse than that every day. Good to know the crazies are starting to hit the 'burbs, too though.

    Next time just glare at him. Knowing you, that should work just fine. :-)

  3. Sean, I did glare at him. Jules, thank you. I guess I'm not that old...yet :-)