September 05, 2011

Thoughts On The First Day Of Autumn

Yeah, I know.  There's nothing on the calendar that says this is the first day of Fall.  But, I guess it all depends on where you live.  Here in Northern Illinois, Fall came in overnight.  It was 95 degrees on Saturday.  And yesterday it was still in the 80's.  But then a big wind came through just as I was about to turn in about midnight and I knew that was it.  Summer may be still going on other places, but it's over here.  I guess that's okay.

And it's Labor Day Weekend.  I hate this holiday.  No matter how old I get, it will always mean the gut wrenching day before school started.  Some things you just don't forget.  I was flipping around the channels yesterday and remembered that the MDA Telethon was supposed to be on television.  Apparently, the MDA powers that be decided that they'd had enough of Jerry Lewis and dumped him this year.  Or, as I read, maybe he dumped them.  In any case, the telethon was only on for 7 hours this year instead of the usual 21 hours.  I watched a few minutes and it sucked just as bad as when Jerry was on.

I spent a couple of hours trying to find this supposedly "excellent" article that Harry Shearer had written as he covered the 1976 Telethon for some movie magazine.  I finally found it ... all 17 pages of it and was attempting to read it while I was watching "Legion" on Netflix streaming.  Gotta love that weird granny and ice cream man.  Not being an incredible multi-tasker, it took me as long to read the article as it did to get though the movie.  Don't know which one was more disappointing, the article or the movie.  But Harry Shearer kind of sucks, so I'll give him the nod.

We had a dinner engagement on Saturday night about an hour south of here.  The road going there is dangerous enough during the day, and since we left the restaurant after dark, it was even spookier driving back.  As I was maneuvering the car through all the turns and twists I imagined the article in the local paper on Monday ... "Local Couple Die in Fiery Accident Because Stupid Husband Can't Drive After Dark Because He Was Too Fucking Old".  I did see an interesting sign on the lighted marquee of a local Church that said:  "Pray For The Unemployed".  I didn't know quite how to take it.  I mean ... I'm between jobs, but I think I'd be kind of uncomfortable knowing that someone was praying for me.  There seems to be so many other things you could pray for, if you were so inclined.  And besides, I'm having a pretty fucking good time being off.

As I mentioned above, it feels like full on Fall here today, and I'm wearing a sweat shirt for the first time in months.  I picked my "Fresno State" model, because it's not too heavy, but I'm also wearing my "Boston College" sweat pants.  I feel like I'm contradicting myself.  I'd like to go to the store, but some people might see the irony in my bi-coastal college wear and snicker at me ... unless I went to Walmart.  Nobody cares there.

Since it's Monday, I was supposed to clean the house.  But it was a holiday and I gave myself the day off, which means I just have to do it tomorrow morning.  I don't mind it so much, except for the toilets.  I suppose most of the mess is my fault.  Aiming your thing is always hit or miss.  I've considered the possibility of just giving up the standing position all together and sitting down, but it seems like I would be admitting defeat.  I wonder how many guys piss sitting down ... and would they admit it if asked?  Questions for the ages.

Okay, time to get the Labor Day bar-b-que started.  No more holidays now until Halloween.

I wonder if there's a way to get that day proclaimed a holiday.  It's way more fun.

Next Post:  The Long Awaited Mailbag!


  1. Fresno is not a state. Just saying. I hate all Monday holidays...I think they should move them to Fridays. Everyone wants Friday off - Monday just makes your work week all smooshed up and too busy.

  2. I know. If I were king of the world, I'd change all Monday holidays to Friday.

  3. Why does Harry Shearer "kind of suck?"

  4. All right, since you lack the confidence of your convictions, even in the anonymity of the Internet, I will leave you and your blog, which sucks (not just kinda), to the indifference it so richly deserves.

    P.S. The article wasn't do hard to was on Shearer's website.

  5. Hey Dan ... Always a thrill to have a 13 year old with acne post under a bunch of fake names. Hope you pass 8th grade this year.