Late Night Thoughts

It's Saturday night, The Midnight Special is on the radio and it's time again for Late Night Thoughts.  This weeks' edition is brought to you by the good people at Hulman & Company, proud makers of Clabber Girl Baking Powder!

And, if you're like me, you've probably wondered most of your life, "What the hell is a Clabber Girl?" Well friends, I've done some research on this subject and although I was thrown a couple of curve balls along the way, I think I just may have an answer.

One definition defined a Clabber girl as a prostitute strung out on crack (as in "Hey, that 'ho is a real Clabber Girl!)  Apparently, baking soda is a prime ingredient in the manufacture of crack cocaine, and Clabber Girl is the ingredient of choice by all of the top drug cartels. I'm sure that as soon as the management at Hulman & Co. become aware of this fact, they will want to immediately incorporate it into their advertising campaigns.

Actually, I don't believe that this particular definition was what the company founders were thinking in 1837 when they branded the product.

Finding no other information worth a damn in my extensive search, I resorted to the definition of the two words.  Clabber is defined as "milk that has naturally clotted on souring", and girl is defined as "miniature female". Therefore, I can confidently conclude that Clabber Girl was derogatory slang for a young lady who either smelled like curdled milk, or resembled same. I'm not really sure if this was what the company founders had in mind either when they named the product, but maybe they were strung out on crack at the time.

But ... whatever.  Let's get to those Late Night Thoughts!

*

When will people start referring to this year as "twenty oh nine" instead of "two thousand nine"?  One hundred years ago, did people say "one thousand nine hundred nine"?

*

I'm glad that NASA decided to change the name of their launch site in Florida back to Cape Canaveral.  This naming everything "Kennedy" horseshit had gotten way out of hand.

*

When you get a new phone book, do you transcribe all of the notes and doodles in the old one to the new one, or do you just throw the new one in the trash like I do?

*

When you wake from a dream, do you find that you miss the world you were in, or not so much?

*

I'd still like to bitch slap Mrs. Cassidy for smacking my knuckles with a ruler in 2nd grade.

*

Some aspects of personal grooming are highly annoying.

*

Does the universe ever end?  And if it does, what's on the other side of it?

*

Denny's isn't as good as it used to be.  Or maybe it never was.

*

I can't stand to watch even one second of "Oprah", "Wheel of Fortune" or "Two and a Half Men".

*

I wonder what my life would have been like if I had never gone back to Jan's place after her party and asked her out for coffee?  I'll bet it wouldn't have been very good.  Our first date was 35 years ago this month.

And that is a significant Late Night Thought.

Good night all.