Late Night Thoughts

It's Saturday night, the Midnight Special is on the radio and I'm back again with Late Night Thoughts!  This week's edition is brought to you by the fine folks at Pontiac Motor Division, who selected this forum to advertise on because their marketing budget has kind of been tightened since GM dropped their ass like a hot rock.

Which reminds me, I took my Pontiac motor car into my local dealer this past week for a general recall to correct a minor defect that could set the whole car on fire!  But the good people at the dealership quickly and efficiently fixed this problem in 30 minutes with an odd shaped piece of plastic, so no worries.

While I was waiting, I started thinking about the name "Pontiac". Turns out GM took the name from the city where they had a factory; Pontiac, Michigan, who in turn took it's name from an Ottawa Indian chief named Pontiac, although his real name was Obwandiyag, so I guess Pontiac was his stage name, kind of like Cher.  Anyway, I thought naming a car after a town was kind of dull and what happened to the days when cars were named after the individuals who thought up the cars, like the Hupmobile, named after Robert Craig Hupp, or the Oldsmobile, named after Ransom E. Olds.  And by the way, who names their poor kid "Ransom", and I'll bet he got a lot of shit in school with a name like that unless he was smart enough to change it to "Randy". Then I thought how cool it would have been if the people at GM had named the car Obwandiyag instead of Pontiac. But then my car was ready and I didn't think about it again until right now.

There I go again.  Let's move on with tonight's Late Night Thoughts!

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Riding as a patient in an ambulance is surreal.  First of all, you feel embarrassed to be there in the first place, and then there are no windows so you can't see out.

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My buddy's girlfriend once told me that I had long legs and a short torso.  Since then, every time I look in a full length mirror, I feel inferior.  Thanks bitch.

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If Jan would let me, I'd put strings of beads in doorways.  Except the bathroom doorway.

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I hate Shrimp Scampi.

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One of the cool things about picking up a date in the dorm was that the receptionist would call up to the room and say "You have a gentleman caller in the lobby".

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The phrase "Bat Turn" always makes me snort.  You would have had to have been in Drivers Ed that one day to understand.

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I always shampoo my hair twice because of something I saw on a "Simpsons" episode.

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I've never won a raffle.  Not once.  What are the odds of that?

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If I had to do it over again, I would have doubled down.

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I knew I was really on my own when I realized that I could use all of the toilet paper I wanted to and no one would yell at me.

See you soon.